05 June 2012

A Walk To Remember

I watched that wonderful horrible wonderful movie on Sunday right before work.  Bad move. I may be a CHB, but I still cry like a little baby when Landon hugs his dad at the end, and when they get married.  Well then that evening at work two co-workers informed me about a guest of the restaurant who lost her husband in a horrible plane crash.  If I had not been so caught off guard I would have cried again. I may have privately.  I don't know what it is but the idea of losing someone, or finding them again, is just overwhelming.

I leave in 80 days.  I have my plane ticket information, my class schedule and I have discussed plans with my colleagues.  I am so excited.  I really am.  But you know the adage, you don't know what you have until it's gone?  Well I kind of wish people told me how awesome they thought I was before I decided to leave.

I feel like I have a lot of doors open in DPS and when I leave they will all close.  I didn't know I had multiple doors though. I'm not saying that I would stay because Durham is awesome, just saying, it's nice to know that people respect me as an educator.  I have amazing friends, and I knew they were amazing, but I didn't know how much I needed them.  My MGC crew has carried me and I wouldn't be where I am today without them.  Much to their hatred, the strength they gave me is part of why I know I can leave, and come back and still have my people.  They know what I mean by this.  Having so much family across the US I knew that going a year without seeing them wouldn't be "new" for me...but when your family is bigger now than it used to be I worry about losing pieces.  I consider my DVT people-family.  The people I work with, the guests that visit us, they have supported me and have truly become more family for me.  I worry that I will lose them.

Facebook, Skype, Facetime, will keep me in touch.  People will read my blog and feel like they know what I'm up to-I'll read status' and find who is engaged, pregnant and has other news.  But then there are things...

Do you have a happy place?  A place where you feel completely comfortable, safe and peaceful.  It may be your parent's house, where you grew up and had family dinners.  While I love my fam-this isn't it for me.  Maybe it's your car, driving down a country road with the windows down, blasting country music.  That is such a relaxing time for me-but I do have a bit of a car phobia. My happy place is Elon.  It is where I became an adult, first in my early 20's, and now again, in my mid late 20's.  I'm a very different person now, than I was as an undergrad.  I've had good times on campus and bad times.  I have happy memories and bittersweet ones.  But I know that who I am today is happy, and Elon's campus confirms that for me.  So when I move, I will miss the opportunities to walk on campus....I will miss Walks to Remember.

I won't miss that damn movie though...or The Notebook.  Nicholas Sparks is totally ruining my CHB reputation.

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