07 June 2012

light me up like a bottle rocket

Tomorrow is the last day with students.  I'm not sad.  I'm not excited.  I'm apathetic.  Pretty much the same feeling I've had all year.  I am sad to see the year end with some teachers.  I am sad that I won't see some of these students continue to grow up.  However, after leaving my favorites at Northeast last year, I feel like I can leave anywhere...a job's a job.

However leaving Burlington may be another story.  I have lived here for 10 years (minus the one year in Charlotte with Ann).  I have known where to get food, airports to fly in and out of, roads to take in traffic and roads to take when I want to drive.  I have had friends surrounding me and I know where to go to meet new ones.

So with tomorrow being my last day, it is also my last day of familiarity.  I have ended 6 school years now.  However this time, when we end, I am pausing a career in North Carolina.  I don't know where I will be in two years-do I come back to NC or move to Minnesota?  Why not just put my finger on a map and pick a new place?  Do I think administration or keep teaching or get out of education (stop laughing, I can do other careers!)

Part of my thought process for moving was a fresh start-what will my fresh start look like in two years?  I know no one can answer these thoughts.  I know part of the awesomeness about it all is that no one can or will answer these.

"I ain't here to do anything half-way
Don't give a damn what anyone might say
I just wanna free fall for a while...

Usually the end of the school year signifies my break, my time to recuperate from the year and prepare for the next school year.  This summer is so different because I cannot prepare for next year. I can pack and I can sell all my belongings but mostly it will just be living every moment to the fullest so that my memories of people and places can hold me until I come back...where back is...

...That rebel moon is shinin'
Those stars burn like diamonds
Hell bent on chasin' down that crazy spark
I'll follow you where you're leading
To the first sweet taste of freedom
You got me runnin' baby,
wild at heart."

1 comment:

  1. Enjoy EVERY SINGLE MOMENT! Seriosuly, you will never have another summer like this again. Ju and I were packing today (as we will do every day for the next week and a half) and I came across my journal from the summer before I left for Brazil... what an amazing time in your life! You are about to make a big jump, and it's going to shape the rest of your life.

    With all the things you'll dot his summer, make sure to take time to relax. : o)