I got in a taxi this weekend to go out (yes by myself, but I was going to meet friends). Well as I flagged the cab down a guy thought I was waving at him (I wasn’t.) He got in the cab with me and said “Yes to Dublins!” I told him I was going to DC’s and he said that it was the same thing (they’re not, however they are relatively close). I asked how he knew I was going to Juffair and well, that was stupid, you are either going to Adliya or Juffair and I live in Adliya…sooo……..we were off to DC’s, or Dublins, or where ever.
Well the conversation started immediately and when I said I was from North Carolina he asked if I rooted for UNC or Duke. Ummmm, what???? Well if I were in the states this would be a normal question, however I am in Bahrain and this guy was English! Well anyways, he asked me if Michael Jordan was really as awesome as he seemed. So I was astonished (I much prefer this than being asked if I like Obama). He then asked me what guy I was seeing that would let me out by myself. (sidenote: guys here are not original. I hear that I am pretty a lot. It is a great ego boost, but I would much prefer some originality. One guy told my friend Ezza that I looked like a model and she told him he would have to try harder because I had already heard that once that night. I love her J). Back to cab guy…I told him I was a big girl and I could go out by myself and then went on to tell him about my dating life (or lack there of, or too much of…or whatever). He said “Bahrain is not where you find love.” Dude had a ring on his finger so I asked if he brought his relationship with him. He said the ring was his grandfathers…heard that story before. He then went on to talk about his fiancé who had left him…story? I don’t know, but he said the moral is…Bahrain is not for love. He dropped me off at the bar and went on his way.
So my jaded, non-emotional side said… “duh, no love here.” But the girly side in my says “screw it!!!” It can be done. I know it can.
I laid awake most of last night trying to balance these emotions. Trying to weigh logic with feelings. My ultimate conclusion….
Emotions suck. Why is it so hard to accept for me? There is nothing I can change, why do I insist on trying to outsmart myself and think it’s wrong to be upset, or happy over love or other feelings? Either is fine, you just have to handle it…
So, surprise, I’m a girl! I know this is a huge shock for all the people following along during my CHB time, but I cannot hide the fact that I am a crazy, emotional, head over heels girl. I do want the sap and the romance and the lovey, dovey, gooey stuff. My version of it may be very different than other people though. Mine may be an email, or a paper flower, not a dozen roses or a surprise at my door (both of which freak the heck out of me). However, while I am falling asleep at my desk after having laid awake thinking about all of this…I am a stupid girl.
I don’t know how to handle this side of me, haven’t seen it like this in quite a few years…I really need to get my heart in check. Or maybe a good bitch slap from Joe would take care of this for me. However he, himself, may have slipped to the dark side too. I’m feeling a bit like Renee Zelleweger in the cliché movie “Down with Love”.
So, for those of you that follow along on facebook, sad trombone music be damned. Just not right now. For now I’m going to hide in the corner until I can figure out the emotional rollercoaster we call relationships and the dating life.
But right now…I really wish my girly emotional side would shut up.
I hate being a girl.
Excuse me I have to go to Sephora and Saks for retail therapy. Ok I love being a girl J