We are not in Kansas

So I had a hard transition to Maine (it has only been 2 weeks, I know that is not that long.) It had nothing to do with John, it was all my own thoughts and feelings in my head.  He has done so much to make me like the area, and I got here just as work was getting crazy and he is finishing up his quals**, so he is extra tired but still amazing.  I want to preface this post with that because right now he is 90% of what I have in Maine.  So if I make an unkind statement about Maine or myself here, it could come off as directed at John, but it’s not.  

He is wonderful. 

Maine is different than North Carolina.  The accents are different and harsh, not soft and cute.  I hung out in two college towns in NC, GSO and Durham.  In Bahrain I hung out with my fellow teachers.  Here there are a lot of old people…a lot.  I may feel that way because I am out during the day and since they are retired they are too.  I understand that.  But this place is second only to Richfield for the most old people homes I’ve ever seen. 

The food is different.  I miss Bahrain restaurants already.  Once we get all of our cooking supplies I am going to try to learn to make machboos like at school.  The food here is good, but it is very much the same everywhere we have gone.  We still have to try the Mexican restaurant and the sushi place. 

The hardest transition for me is the lack of job.  I feel like a waste of space without a job, or anything to do around the house yet (we are still waiting for our furniture to arrive-then the pinterest projects can really start).  I had an epiphany this morning though...if I had a job lined up for the fall, I wouldn't be working right now.  I would be doing the exact same thing I am doing, watching TV, painting and figuring out life here.  If I had not moved here and was going back to Bahrain I would be doing the exact same thing I am doing right now, watching TV, figuring out life.  So why do I feel like a waste of space right now?  Can I accept this as my “leave***”?  I am actively searching for jobs every day.  Once they open background checks back up (they are closed for summer?) then I will get my name on the sub list officially.  I am confused why I have this huge desire to be defined by my job.  It has been one of the only things in my life that has challenged, supported and fulfilled me in my adult life.  It doesn't mean other things, or roles can’t.  And it has only been two weeks.  We are not defined by two weeks.  So I am not a waste of space.  I am enjoying my summer, like everyone should get to do-don't worry, I'll enjoy it for all of you working 9-5s. Next margarita is on me.  Well, technically John :)   

**(qualifications that you have to get at each new boat, even if you’ve held them before on another boat…it’s like getting recertified for teachers)

***defined by the two week to month long break given to military during or after deployment.