life unpaused

I just reread my post before I left NC.  I discuss how I'm putting my life on pause to move to Bahrain.  Funny thing is, in just three/four weeks, I know my life is not on pause here.  I'm not saying this is where I want to live for the rest of my life.  I'm not saying that I have found my calling and it is Bahrain.  What I am saying is that my life is not on pause.  I know that.

I feel like I'm already growing in my knowledge as a teacher, I am about to go to IB training in one week and I feel a huge need at the school for assessment analysis, why do we test, how do we know the students learned, etc.  I am attached to some of my kids (I want to kick some too-kids are kids!)  I feel a need here, which is crucial for me in a school.

I am going out and having fun.  It's funny but since everyone here is in the same boat we understand that we have to be flexible.  I can see how people meet internationally and become life-long "whatevers".  It's kind of exciting.  I know that I want to settle down somewhere.  And I'm not saying Bahrain, I'm not even saying internationally.  But I am saying my life is not on pause.  And that is exciting.  

Safety

I have been receiving many messages asking if I am safe.  I woke up this morning and read the Gulf Daily News article regarding the protests yesterday.  First, let me explain some things I know about the protests.

1. Fridays are the worst days for protests.  Our weekend is Friday and Saturday here.  Saturday is a normal Saturday, Friday is our Sunday.  If that makes sense.  The weekend used to be Thursday and Friday, but they switched it. Anyways, the groups form after religious services, which is why Fridays are the most prominent days for protests.

2. The protests are not intended to be deadly or dangerous.  Their goal is to literally be a pain in the ass.  One of the major things that occur through out the week are tire fires.  They take large tires, douse them with petroleum and light them on fire in the middle of the freeway, just to be an annoyance, and show the powers that be that they are powerful. There are cop cars stationed on all the freeways and at the gas stations.  If you pull over a cop car will immediately be on you.

So now lets talk about where I live. I live in Manama (pronounced Muh-NAM-a).  My school is in Isa Town (Eesa) which is where ALL of the private schools are and the Ministry of Education.  If you read the article, you see that the protests took place in Riffa and Isa Town, both south of where I live.  They are towards the desert, which the southern half of the island is desert and large compounds for families.  My school in Isa Town is about 15 minutes away with no traffic, but there is always traffic.  There is a small mall in Isa Town, but besides that, the only reason I go there is for school.  Riffa is a compound area.  The other places listed were Muharraq, which is in the diplomat area of the island, and it's own island of the archipelago.  Tubli Bay is the same.  When they say parts of Manama, lets go over what they mean.

I live in a district of Manama called Adliya (pronounced Adlee-ya).  The area where we are used to be water we were told.  You can see my neighborhood on the lower part of the map.  The Navy base is in Juffair (pronounced jew-fair).  We are friends with some of the Royal Navy so we know all riots and protests in advance and are constantly being looked after.  Juffair is about 5 minutes by taxi from my apartment.  Adliya does start the Navy "off limits zone".  We are on the edge of the range of possible activity.  It goes up to the Souq (or Souk pronounced sook) which you can see is close to the diplomatic area.  So basically, the protests are taking place north of me and south of me.  No matter what you believe about politics and policies in the middle east I have been told (and shown nothing different) that the protesters want nothing to do with westerners HERE.  They are not mad at me, or my friends.  They are upset with their government, not me, I am completely safe.  I live in a very western neighborhood and Juffair is all western.  

When we go out to dinner, or grocery shopping, or to bars, it is in Adliya or Juffair.  We have no need to go anywhere else.  My students and their parents are incredibly sweet and eager to learn about my culture and life, as I am to learn about their culture and life.  Half of the population of Bahrain is foreign, with 20% of the total population being western.  It is very welcoming to western life.  

I have not seen any action, riots, protests or disruptions.  I am completely aware of the city around me and like I said, I get daily safety reports from my friends. 

So thank you all for your concerns, thoughts and prayers.  I really am having fun and feel very safe.

***edited to add: New information just came through text that things are still unsafe.  We are taking precautions.  I was supposed to go to base today but the boats (ships, but I like to call them boats) are confined.  I'll keep you updated. ***

How do you know you are too rich?

Today a girl was wearing sparkle Toms.  If you didn’t know, I own sparkle Toms.  I told her that I did and she said “don’t you love how cheap they are?!”  Yeah, cheap…that’s what I think when I think of Tom’s.  Now we all know that I will spend money on clothes and shoes, but I also know that $60 is not “cheap.”   That is one point today where I realized there is a class difference between me and my students.  

I heard that clothes were expensive here.  That was not a lie.  Everything is priced the same as the States.  I looked at a Michael Kors purse at the mall.  It would have been around $250 in the states (not on sale).  It was 199BD here.  Discount right?  Wrong.  With an exchange rate of 1BD=$2.65 That 199BD purse is now roughly $500.  So my girl's “cheap” Toms were to her, they were only 20-25BD.  That’s the kind of prices their Spring store has (a cheaper shoe store here and in the states.)  Another example is Bath and Body Works.  I wanted hand soap.  Usually it’s 5 for $12 on special, or around $3 a piece when not on a good sale.  I got 3 for 5BD.  That is 3 for $13 roughly.  That stuff adds up fast!  So while I will be making more money here, I won’t be buying that much.  I know, I know, I joke, I kid…I’m going to buy stuff.  Lots of it.  I can’t help it when you have a Tory Burch STORE!!!

Now what is cheap here?  Service industry.  Food is 1-3BD per entrée.  The most expensive place we’ve gone so far (and it was really nice) was 5BD for steak, mashed potatoes and vegetables.  There is also no formal tipping here and everything delivers.  A couple of nights ago I ordered Hummus, Tabbouleh, and a chicken dish (three different things).  Yes, that’s a lot of food, but it was lunch the next day too.  It cost 4.200BD and I had it delivered to my door.  I gave the guy a 5, because we were told to round up for a tip (it’s a local place and I want them to know I am worth delivering to) so for $13 I had two meals of food...delivered.  Another girl had fried rice delivered.  It was 1.800BD.  So for around $5 she had food at her door.  Ridiculous. 

Taxis are also cheap.  5 of us took one to the local mall which is about 15 minutes away, for 4BD, we thought that was fine, but we were told that was too much by friends!  You can also have secret drivers who are not associated with Taxi companies and they are cheaper.  It is crazy to me how that works.  About half the people I work with have cars and half do not.  I would really like to not have one, and if I can get over having to call someone to pick me up, I think I can make.  We live in a good part of town to walk to things too, so that will be good!

See, with all of the money I’m saving on food and car I can definitely buy more clothes J

Carissa, my love, where are you?

I know, I know, I know….I’ve been in Bahrain almost 2 weeks and no update.  It’s not that I’m too busy.  I’m actually impressed with my free time so far.  I know it won’t stay that way, and I’m hoping to get some tutoring time in, but I’m not too busy.  Well then I must be out going and doing right?  That’s why I’m not blogging.  Well, it’s not really that either.  I am not out and about that much.  The thing is that there is not really anything to blog about.  Life here is pretty much the same as it was back in the states.  Right now I’m sitting at a coffee shop watching a mustang, CRV and Mazda CX9 (cry!) go by.  There are cell phones ringing around me, and a family having coffee on the couch next to me.  Really the only difference right now is that BBC is on the television instead of CNN (and to be honest with the DNC coverage on right now, I’m happy to be watching BBC). 

School starts at 7 (like it did last year) and since I ride the bus we leave the house at 6:15 (like last year).  I get home around 4, and I’m tired by 8 (like last year).  I’m not doing my National Boards (like two years ago) and I’m not doing my Masters (like last year) or coaching/working another job…so basically, I’m bored. 

The main reason we aren’t going and doing right now is because we haven’t been paid yet.  We get paid at the end of the month, so all of us are strapped for cash.  They gave us moving in money which was nice so we are trying to make that last until September 28^th .  I’m not bored as in unhappy, I do like it, it’s just there is nothing to blog about!

So let me first start with my “classmates”. We are all starting at the same time and on a two year contract, so it’s like we graduate together.  First of all there is Ezza, Camille and Kristi, all people I had communicated with before I got here.  It was so nice to have a familiar name/face!  Ezza teaches primary and she reminds of Leigh Ann if Leigh Ann could stand little kids.  Camille teaches 7^th grade English and is always up for hanging out which is so nice to have a built in friend.  Kristi is my math partner and I’m feeling a flash back to 2006 when Ann and I started at Northwest together.  Kristi and Carissa and we both teach math…and we’re both white girls with light brown hair.  If I didn’t have a foot on her in height there would be no hope (like the height comment Kristi?)  I am so happy to have her as my partner in crime though.

There is also Susan (primary), Allison (primary), Matt (primary), Greg (theatre) Emishea (business) and Dennis (high school Art).  They are all fabulous.  Literally.  Not just saying that.  I am really lucky to have such a good group.  We all live together in great apartments.  It makes me not want to go anywhere else foreign to teach because everyone keeps talking about how nice our places are.  I have tile everything.  Ever wonder how much hair a girl loses during the day?  I know, just look at my floor. 

My school is nice.  It is 80’s vintage, so just like working at NE in the old building.  I really like the faculty.  My classes are going well and everything is smooth so far.  See?  So boring.

Last weekend we all went out to celebrate our first week of work.  We went to a local expat bar.  It is a 5 minute walk from our house so with it being the local navy hang out and so close in this heat, it is our favorite place in Bahrain J  I may expand on this a little more in a later blog…maybe not.  Let’s see how this weekend goes and then I’ll decide the amount of details everybody gets.  As the girls said Thursday night “what happens at JJ’s………gets talked about for the next week on the bus”. 

Thank you to everybody for the well wishes and prayers.  I know you are all anxious for my address, but I don’t have one yet for mail…I’ll let you know.  I do have mobile router so I have skype and gchat at all times.  Add me at Carissa.berglund. 

What I've learned...

Today I cried in class.  Well it was after, but there were numerous tears that I could not control.  I was talking to Dr. C about the class and most specifically, quiz 1.  It has been a joke in my cohort that we only need a C to graduate.  Who knew the first quiz would jeopardize that C.  It was a funny joke because none of us have made a C in a course yet.  It wasn’t so funny when I made a 26.7 on the first quiz (most scores were terrible, but mine was extremely bad).  I emphasize the .7 so everyone knows that it rounds up to 27.  Well Dr. C said that he was astonished we did so poorly as a class.  Honestly, I’m not sure many of us were astonished, I know I wasn’t.  I bought the book Thursday, before the Friday test.  We were told the material would be on only what we read, not what we discussed in class-which I thought was ridiculous and so therefore I didn’t believe.  I figured the assessment would be a synthesis between the reading and the discussions in class.  Yep, nope, it was purely on Joyce Van Tassel-Baska and memorizing specific topics.  I had taken notes, I had all of the answers…however I messed up the sections.  I put the topic after question 2 as it’s answer.  When Dr. C announced that we could do test corrections/explain our answers to improve our grade my classmates went home and wrote out the correct answers (from the book or notes) and explained why they did poorly.  Some turned in revisions on the test, others turned in four pages of rewrites and I’m sure ass kissing (I love you all, I do).  I looked at my test, discovered my errors and put the test in my notebook.  I deserved my “27”.  I did not study as much as I should have.  I did not memorize what should have been memorized.  However after emails and urgings from Dr. C it was pressed upon me to turn in an explanation. 

My beliefs on education are that not one person can dictate appropriateness for a general population.  I have already expressed this concern in my Common Core post.  I am enamored by the Sal Kahn debates in the Washington Post right now (he is not a king of math, he is just a guy with a good video voice).  I can memorize JVTB’s beliefs, but I don’t believe that me copying them from the book would express that for Dr. C.  I also don’t feel that I was given an outlet for relearning the material.  Remediation and relearning information is a huge platform for me and integrating parts of Rick Stiggin’s Assessment forLearning.  I provide my students newoutlets to learn, guidelines for turning in/showing their new learning.  Test corrections do not do this in their practice alone.  As a teacher, I consider it my job to ensure that students learn and that I have measurable, whether quantitative or qualitative, outcomes to demonstrate their learning.  As the AFL framework suggests, these outcomes are not solely for me, but they are for the students too, so they know their learning objectives and can assess for themselves if they learned them.  I do not know if my learning objectives for this assessment were to memorize JVTB’s work or to explain how this assessment was either appropriate or inappropriate.  When it came down to it, I had higher priorities on my list than rewriting answers.  Good attitude? No. There go those disposition points….

So back to me crying.  I’m not sure if it was the fact that I’m sad about leaving my classmates, embarrassed about my performance in the class or that I’m exhausted with thoughts running through my head.  Dan asked me this morning how my family was handling all the changes in my life.  He emphasized “all” and I knew what he meant.  How are they handling them?  Well it ranges from excitement  for my new beginning, to fear for the lack of children in my immediate future, to complete disregard for any future changes…I started the program married, confused about my educational stance and with a 5 year plan.  I am ending the program divorced, overly confident in my educational stance and no f’n clue what my one year plan has, let alone a 5. 

I entered this program because I needed more in my life.  I wanted to learn how to teach all kids better, especially the gifted students.  I wanted to be a leader in my school and lifelong learning example for my students.  Did I expect all A’s?  No.  If I had known half of the personal and professional ups and downs I would encounter in this process I may have expected less of myself.  I believe that the fact that I made a B in my math class was fantastic.  That was the semester that I taught three preps, coached tennis, lead professional development and moved out.  I spent a lot of time on the math steps and processes, very little time on the journals.  I put emphasis on what I thought was valuable for me, at the time, in my classroom.  I made an A in our Foundations course.  That, in and of itself is amazing, considering I never did the second half of the final exam.  My first half kicked ass (thanks Liz!) and I learned SO much from it, I did not write the reflection of it.  I learned so much in these classes, and I feel that I showed that I learned a lot in these classes, however I also prioritized my learning.  This is a way that we differentiate in our classes whether it is from tiered lessons or unit matrices, students learn what they need to learn, but can focus on their interests through authentic assessment (cough: JVTB: cough)

So let’s Dweck this out.  One thing I have focused on is constantly challenging myself.  I want to build stronger, smarter, me.  I want to surround myself with people that encourage and challenge me to learn more and be better.  So what can I do with this “27”?  Learn from it-reread, and then do better in the future.  I tried my hardest on quiz 2…even though I didn’t follow Dr. C’s guidelines of only using JVTB because I don’t think we can just synthesize on JVTB.  I want to put everything I’ve learned into practice.  I have put a lot of work into our curriculum unit and expanded on my previous matrix skills from Anderson and Krathwohl to a more intense plan.  I’m anxious for the final exam tomorrow.  I’m nervous that I will not show how much I learned in this course.  I’m nervous my over-exuberance in over-citations will annoy Dr. C.  I’m also nervous that I will cry because the waterworks still have not stopped.  I’m sad that I will be leaving some of the greatest professional development I have ever had-the people, the professors and Elon’s resources. 

So think about me around 10 am tomorrow.  Whether you are excited for new beginnings as a masters graduate or worried that all this “smarts” will make me not want to have kids (Gee and Pa) just send good vibes my way.  I’ll make you proud.  It may not be the way you want me to go about it, and it may involve more than you want, but I’ll make you proud.  Or at least I’ll make myself proud. 

if you are at all sad I'm moving...don't read.

So I am quite sad to move.  I am scared out of my mind and do not want to leave a lot of this behind.  However, on that note, I am also incredibly excited.  I have constant knots in my stomach-the nervous butterflies are fighting the lumps that keep sneaking my throat making me want to cry.  I then also have a constant feeling that I’ve consumed too much caffeine because I’m jittery with excitement. 

When I want to cry the most is when Bakerloo is being a snuggle bug.

baby bakey

terror loo

So if you have never had the pleasure of meeting Bakerloo then you are missing out.  This dog was the cutest puppy you have ever seen.  Seriously.  When Canden and I got her people thought we were crazy.  We were seniors in college and, in all sincerity, probably didn’t need a dog.  However, it took one look at our Bakerloo and people would go…”oh that’s why you got a dog-she’s freakin’ adorable.”  Then this damned dog turned 1 and 2 and she was a terror.  Not really, but she was full of energy and cuh-razy.  Well this now almost 7 year old dog is quite possibly the sweetest, cuddliest, princess puppy ever.  She is so well behaved, still has a little crazy streak in her but calms down instantly.  I love her.  The thought of leaving her behind crushes me.  She wouldn’t live with me if I was in the country, but I could visit.  Seriously, if you haven’t met Bakerloo, you should.  Her number is 555-SNU-GGLE.  She responds well to treats, cuddles and the Family Guy theme song.

Can you take Bakerloo to Bahrain with you?

Legally?  Yes.  Dogs are allowed to travel to Bahrain and there is no quarantine time.  Real answer?  No. They are not supposed to travel in the summer months.  It is too hot and they do not acclimate the extreme heat well.  If you are taking an animal it is advised that you bring them in winter.  So if I wanted to bring her, it would have to be then.  But let’s be honest, just like when I was a senior in college, I do not need a dog in Bahrain.  And if we are being really honest, I’m a crappy mom to Loo.  She will be in much better hands with her Dad.  Hard to believe she will be nearly 9 when I come back. 

Another time I get sad is when I think about how my life will be on pause for two years.  I worked really hard to unpause my life in the past year.  I want to move forward professionally and personally.  I’m not sure if a two year stint where I throw my stuff in a storage room and have it chill until I come back is really “moving on.”  I have no freakin’ clue what I will learn in Manama.  I have no clue who I will meet.  But right now, as I pack up (or talk about packing up) my life it revolves around keeping things intact for when I move back in two years. 

Can you stay longer than 2 years?

Yes, if I’m hired.  You get a pretty big bonus too. 

What happens if you don’t stay for 2 years?

I don’t lose money, but I don’t get money. I get paid 12 months, but the 12^th month is received when you come back…so if I don’t go back, I don’t get it.  If I resign AFTER January (after either 1 or 2 years) then I do lose summer checks.  Basically, unless I completely despise it, I’m planning on staying for two years. 

Will you be safe?

Do you trust me in American schools?  Then yes.  Honestly, the island is safe.  But for those of you that want to see for yourself you can visit the UK travel site.

Some things that I am getting excited about are scuba diving, traveling and teaching again!  I want to seek adventure and live it up!  I want to come back to America, smarter, wiser and even more excited to teach! 

Can you use more exclamation marks?

YES!!!!!  YES I CAN!!!!  (this is quite a spicy post-right Katy?)

Let's recap June and move on....

Dear life,

Why are you continuing to happen here, when I leave in1-2 months and need you to slow the hell down? 

Summer is freakin’ flying by and I cannot even begin to discuss how much has happened in the month of June.  I started and finished my Master’s Portfolio (most likely why I will have to restart and finish it in July, but whatever).  I created a camp class, put on the camp and recapped the camp with the amazing help of my favorite cohort member Liz.  I realized that I love middle schoolers…but not for long periods of time.  I realized that elementary school kids make me want to go “Squeeee”, as in “You’re so cute, get away from me!”  I realized that I miss teaching.

Dear current and future employers,

I am feeling completely jaded by the current state of education and think I need a change.  Will you be completely heart-broken if I leave?  Can you offer me my dream job?

I managed a ton at Da Vinci’s Table with the help of Will and the rest of my favorites there.  We went out for two weekends in a row to celebrate Stephanie’s birthday and her leaving.  I blended DVT family with teaching family at a pool party saying goodbye to Bob and Ramsey before they set sail for Arizona.  It was the first time I had seen Leigh Ann in forever.  I realized I missed all of my friends, even the ones I just saw five minutes ago.

Dear friends and family,

I love you and know that you will support me through whatever I do.  Will you still be here when I get back?  Will you be completely heartbroken and forget about me before I even leave?

I put my heart out there, and then pulled it in real quick before it could get taken, or stepped on.  I laid out my feelings, in my own incoherent words and then blamed myself for being stupid.  I played games because they were easier than anything else, until it hurts.  

Dear future love interest,

I believe in love and want to have the best relationship ever.  How do we move forward?  Where do we go from here?

I fell in love with Bakerloo all over again and cannot imagine saying goodbye to her, let alone the humans I actually love who will know I’m leaving.

The ultimate conclusion of June?  Leaving the known is easier than leaving the unknown.  Leaving securities and sureties is easier than leaving questions and confusions.  Constants will still be somewhat constant when I return.  Sure things will change, but all in all, the people I know and love and the places I value will still be around.  The questions, concerns and knots in my stomachs are what I’m scared about…

I know that I will miss my friends, family and opportunities here.  That is a given.  However it is the unknowns that I will miss that scare me.  I know I will have different opportunities abroad, but are they what I want or need?  Are the opportunities here what I want or need? 

Yes.